Shining Star
Chicane Challenger
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High Fashion and Misdemeanors: Which Haute Couture Ride is Ready for its Close-up?
About a decade ago I knew this German guy -- let's call him Jens -- with a clothing business that sold items to people like Alanis Morissette and Anthony Kiedis. He needed a ride to the then-new American Apparel factory in downtown Los Angeles. Once inside, he purchased a literal trash bag full of imperfect T-shirts for about $4 a shirt. Back at his shop he cut off the tags and screen printed each shirt with a highly stylized something or other. The one that sticks out in my mind featured an AK-47. The price once Jens and his partner made their alterations? $400 a shirt. "You can't tell anyone about this," he admonished me. I'm thinking 10 years is long enough.
It's an age-old problem. How do you increase the price of an item while still selling basically the same item? One solution is to add style. Meet the automotive equivalent of haute couture, i.e. high fashion, where you're asked to pay top dollar for an item that's going to wind up copied and swinging from the $9.99 rack at H&M four months from now. But who cares!? You're now, you're hip, you are cutting edge. And for a week, so were we, at least in terms of new car design. Please meet our friends, the 2012 Audi A7, 2012 Mercedes-Benz CLS550, and the 2011 Jaguar XJ.
Mercedes-Benz invented this segment -- the horrifically named "four-door coupe" -- back in 2004 with the original CLS, based off the W211 E-Class platform. The boys at Benz figured out how to sell customers a meal between lunch and dinner. Sure, you're paying $10,000 more for an E-Class in a new suit, but what a sharp suit! So sharp, in fact, that Audi followed in lockstep, crafting its new A7 from the new A6/A8 platform and charging customers about $10,000 more. The Jaguar XJ, on the other hand, usually competes with the larger S-Class and Audi A8. However, we're making the argument that it's just a stretched XF (same engines, transmission, software, chassis). Also, while the XJ is bigger than the Audi or the Mercedes, thanks to a liberal sprinkling of aluminum, it's lighter than either of the Germans. Plus it's in the right price tag ballpark. And let's not forget, this comparison involves style, something the Jaguar has in spades.
If these three cars were suits, I'd walk around wearing the Jag. As good-looking as I find the new A7 -- love the hatch -- it simply can't compete with the XJ. The new CLS is better looking than its predecessor, though perhaps a touch more conservative. However, I very much like and respect the fact that Mercedes-Benz opted not to cravenly revise the existing model. Instead, it opted to keep the CLS as the tip of its design spear. Lest you should think otherwise, the black CLS550 you see here is previewing the forms of the upcoming SL and S-Class. But come on now -- Ian Callum's reinterpretation of the big cat is flat-out gorgeous, and the XJ is one of the best-looking big cars, well, ever.
Speaking of beauty, on what might have been the absolute most beautiful day in recorded history (what, you got a better one?), I set out with my colleagues editor-at-large Ron Kiino and associate editor Scott Evans to pound these three across a large driving loop of sweeping canyons and crumbling California freeways. At one point we found ourselves parked on top of a turnout staring at a 100-foot waterfall with the western edge of the San Fernando Valley on one side and the deep blue of the Pacific on the other. Here's the thing, though: Even surrounded by all that natural splendor, aesthetically speaking our three contenders held their own, with the oxblood Jag shining a bit brighter. As Evans observed, all three scream, "I've got money!" But only the Jaguar can say, "Taste, too."
The Jaguar also had the three of us singing its naturally aspirated 5.0-liter V-8's praises. "Sweet and powerful with raspy pipes. Strong pull and linear power delivery," said Kiino. We knew going in that the twin-turbo Benz would be faster - and just wait until we get to the numbers, 'cause it is -- but there's just something special about a motor that makes its power the old-fashioned way. And even though throttle cables long ago went the way of the dodo bird, the Jag's engine has that sort of direct, precise response. Like Kiino said, linear. Fast, too -- the rear-wheel drive XJ popped off a 0 to 60 run in just 4.9 seconds.
The "little" engine in the A7 had us scratching our collective heads. It's down on cylinders and way down on power compared to the other two. Rated at just 310 ponies and 325 pound-feet of torque, the five-door four-ringer's supercharged V-6 bested the Jag by virtue of hitting 60 mph in a startling 4.7 seconds and flying down the quarter mile in a very quick 13.3 seconds at 103.5 mph. The slightly lighter and much more powerful Jaguar (385 hp, 380 pound-feet of torque) needed 13.4 seconds, though its trap speed was 106.3 mph.
Like most other Audis, the A7 is AWD, but something smells slightly fishy in Ingolstadt and here's why: Last month we tested another A7 with the same engine and transmission (Audi's very nice eight-speed automatic) and recorded a 60 mph run in 5.3 seconds and a quarter-mile time of 13.8 at 100.9 mph. True, because of options or lack thereof, this A7 is nearly 100 pounds lighter than the car we previously tested (4140 pounds vs. 4232) but 92 pounds does not explain away six-tenths of a second. Our testing crew noticed/complained about the red A7's violent shifts, and we asked Audi if the transmission (or anything else) had been reprogrammed. We never heard back.
Still, if you think those two are fast, have you met the 2012 CLS550? And are you sitting down? While it's the heaviest car here at 4183 pounds, the big Merc managed to smash its way to 60 mph in just 4.3 seconds on the way to a quarter-mile run of 12.8 seconds at a blistering 110.8 mph. Mercedes-Benz rates its new 4.7-liter twin-turbo V-8 at 402 horsepower and 443 pound-feet of torque, but consider that the 400-pounds-lighter Shelby GT500 with its 550 horsepower and 510 pound-feet of torque is just two-tenths of a second faster to 60 mph and just four-tenths faster in the quarter mile. Point is, for a four-door family-ish sedan (like the Audi, there are only four seats), that's wantonly bonkers. And remember, this isn't even the fast CLS -- that title's reserved for the AMG-badged CLS63, which when equipped with the Performance Pack is more or less as fast as a Corvette Z06.
Sadly for the XJ, all the good things we had to say about the motor went out the window once we started punting these hyper-styled sedans around our makeshift road course. "Not especially confidence-inspiring," observed Kiino, and Evans and I are in complete agreement. More than once I found myself turning into a corner only to suddenly become frightened of what the big cat might do. Even in Dynamic mode, the Jag's suspension was the sloppiest of the trio. It loaded up funny, rebounded too aggressively, and just didn't make for a good back-road burner.
A big asterisk is in order for two reasons. First, unlike the Audi and the Mercedes, the Jaguar arrived wearing all-season tires and we don't know why, especially considering that Jaguar knew full well we'd be testing these cars in Southern California in June. The second reason is that our testing crew feels strongly that there's something wrong with this XJ's brakes. Under full ABS the front end would violently shudder. The XJ stopped fine, but at 128 feet from 60 mph it was way behind the other two (a crazy good 102 feet for the A7, and a mere very good for the CLS550 at 107 feet). The brake feel was also worst in the test by a country mile.
The Audi and the Mercedes-Benz were both very good up in the canyons. Kiino felt they were equally matched in terms of sportiness, while Evans and I preferred the Audi A7 in the tight and twisty stuff. Let's chalk that up mostly to the Audi's tremendous, near-tenacious AWD-derived grip. The Audi just felt more stable. One reason is that when you put the Benz's transmission into Sport, the throttle response becomes twitchy. At first I was convinced the rear suspension was too bouncy. Then I noticed that if I didn't try and throttle my way out of a turn, the CLS felt just as stable as the Audi. As odd as it sounds, the twin-turbo's massive power was coming on too early and overwhelming the rest of the car. This theory was confirmed when road test editor Scott Mortara put the CLS550 around our figure eight. "What's with that touchy throttle?" were the first word's out of Scott's mouth. That said, everyone felt the Benz had the best steering.
On the freeway, the script is flipped. Here the Audi's much firmer ride and 20-inch tires make for the least pleasant people-mover. Evans went so far as to describe it as "harsh." We found the accompanying road and tire noise annoying, too. Says Kiino, "In terms of ride quality, the A7 feels more like an A4 than an A8." Meanwhile the Jaguar delivered on its old brand values by offering up the best ride of the bunch. "Well-damped, quiet, smooth, luxurious without being boat-like. The XJ is a great road-tripper," continued Kiino. The Mercedes ride quality was just a notch below the Jaguar's because of all the tire racket caused by super low-profile tires (35 profile front, 30 rear, just like the A7). We did notice a huge difference between Sport and Comfort modes in the Mercedes -- that's air suspension for you -- yet almost no difference whatsoever between the A7's Dynamic and Comfort modes.
Despite their impressive track numbers, all three of these cars are relatively high-end luxury items, so we'd be remiss not to discuss the interiors. "This is the best-looking wood trim I've ever seen in a car," noted Evans while sitting inside the Audi. "Could be on display at the OMG Cockpit Wood exhibit," says Kiino. They ain't exaggerating, either. The A7's open pore, oil-finished wood is breathtaking. Sadly, compared to the last A7 we tested, this one is down about $14,000 worth of interior options. So even with all that pretty wood there's a bunch of gray, cruddy plastic that cheapens the feel of the car. We even think the leather's a lower grade of cow. Sure, at $66,220 the A7 is the bargain of this trio. But honest to goodness we thought Audi would be handing us back the other A7, which stickered for $80,130, a price much more in line with the other two -- this Jaguar XJ stickers for $77,575 and the Mercedes-Benz goes for $80,335.
As you might expect from the dollar figures, both the Jag and the Merc are much nicer places to find yourself seated. We love the active side bolsters on the CLS550, which hug you when you turn the wheel, and both of these cars came with seat-A/C while the A7 did not. However, the CLS550's interior might be the one place where the car stumbles. Look, if the exterior of the vehicle is intended to be a brash design statement, why does the interior look exactly like the staid, sedate E-Class? Why not be bold and brave here, too? The Jaguar, on the other hand, is just old school. Sure, the touch-screen is fancy junk, but will you look at all that leather? It's everywhere. The same can be said about all that wood. I don't even mind all that polished chrome, though Evans and Kiino don't agree. What can I say? Mockingbirds like shiny objects.
Now we come to the hard part. Kiino, Evans, and I all agree that when you weigh all the metrics, the CLS550 is the best car of this group. But not by leaps and bounds. The Mercedes-Benz's win is more of a TKO than an outright knockout. And if looks factored more heavily into our rankings, the Benz would be last. Second place goes to the Audi, which did most things quite well, looks fabulous, and was the most fun to drive hard on the challenging roads. We just wish its performance wasn't so out of whack compared with the A7 we tested last month. Then we get to the Jaguar with its comparatively cruddy all-season rubber. The XJ was without question the best-looking of the three and the best over long distances. That said, it was noticeably the least sporting of the trio and is about a decade behind in terms of technology. The CLS550 then, by virtue of its blistering performance at the track, fearlessness in the canyons, and luxurious nature on the freeway is the one we'd take home. There simply aren't any good reasons not to recommend it, though we do wish it were prettier.
First Place: Mercedes-Benz CLS550
This stealth athlete has no major flaws, which in this sort of test might actually be a flaw. A superb all-rounder.
Second Place: Audi A7
Mysteriously great performance, the beauty of Quattro, and the most impressive wood this side of a redwood forest.
Third Place: Jaguar XJ
Prettiest car by a mile, though the least sporty to drive. Possesses an X factor, but appears to missing a few letters up front.
Read more:
2012 Audi A7 vs 2011 Jaguar XJ vs 2012 Mercedes-Benz CLS550 - Interior - Motor Trend
