Zonda
Autotechnik Ace
- Messages
- 5,937
Ok, I have set up a little challenge for you. Your task is to draw what you think the stig would look like. Here is some stuff said about him.
]He drinks a lot of petrol
He was born in space.
He never blinks.
He forages for wolves at night.
He sleeps upside down like a bat.
His sweat can be used to clean precious metals.
His skin has the texture of dolphins.
If you tune your radio to 88.4 FM you can actually hear his thoughts.
He does not see like humans do, instead he sees numbers in green scrolling down (a reference to the The Matrix).
He is scared of bells.
He once punched a horse to the ground.
His politics are terrifying.
He lives in a tree.
He likes DragonBoarder.
He was raised by wolves.
He appears on high-value stamps in Sweden.
His favourite philosopher is Immanuel Kant.
He has no understanding of clouds.
His earwax tastes like Turkish Delight.
He is confused by stairs.
He naturally faces magnetic north.
He is illegal in 17 U.S. states.
His heart ticks like a watch.
All his legs are hydraulic.
He can "accumbularate".
He appears on Japanese banknotes.
There's an airport in Russia named after him.
He is wanted by the CIA.
His breath smells of magnesium.
He can catch fish with his tongue.
His tears are adhesive.
If set alight, he'd burn for a thousand days.
He is terrified of ducks.
His voice can only be heard by cats.
He has two sets of knees.
He can swim seven lengths underwater.
He has webbed buttocks.
He can melt concrete on contact.
He is more machine than man. (a reference to Darth Vader).
His heart is in upside down.
His teeth glow in the dark.
His favorite food is raw meat.
He has no age.
He urinates 98 RON petrol (On The Top Gear Website Profiles)
He can smell corners (On The Top Gear Website Profiles)
He blinks like this. (Clarkson closing his thumb and forefinger on both held-up hands -- a reference to Men in Black)
He has acid for blood. (a reference to the Alien).
Jimmy Carter wants him dead.
He has a bionic arm.
He has a tattoo of Buzz Aldrin on his thigh.
He is stumped by clouds.
He has no fear.
His ears aren't exactly where you would expect them to be.
He once, "preposterously", had an affair with John Prescott (referring to Prescott's recent admission that he had had an affair with one of his secretaries).
He has a digital face.
If he felt like it, he could fire Alan Sugar. (a reference to the UK version of The Apprentice, featuring the aforementioned head honcho of Amstrad in the Donald Trump role)
He has named every single blade of grass surrounding the Top Gear test track.
His genitals are on upside down.
If he could be bothered, he could crack the Da Vinci code in 43 seconds.
His ears have a paisley lining.
He is banned from the Chelsea Flower Show.
The outline of his left nipple is identical to the Nürburgring
If given an important job to do, he'll skive off and play croquet
Now try to sum this all up into a creature of some kind. After a week or two depending on the amount of contenders I'll make poll and we'll vote on the picture we think is most likely to be the Stig. Unfourtuantly drawing is one of the things I really suck at so I leave this to the more talanted people.
Good luck!
