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S-Class: Nice. S-Class With AMG Engine: Nicer
It's the head shot of the silver 1955 Mercedes 300 SL Gullwing you notice first, its doors reaching for the heavens and its timelessness staring you in the face. Like Brad Pitt doing his stuff for Levi's, it's the exploitation of the classically handsome for the advancement of rudimentary commerce, a celebrity endorsement for the 2008 Mercedes-Benz S63 AMG.
This car is about more than a mere Monroney pricing label with a lot of zeroes at the end. It's as artistic a window sticker as you'll ever see, a document that speaks of speed, heritage and the justification for a 518-horsepower automobile that costs $135,235.
And you do want an S63. It's not the best car in the world, but it's close. Finding flaw with this super sedan is like telling Francis Ford Coppola how he screwed up The Godfather. "Well, Mr. Coppola, I think you could have made it funnier, particularly that scene when Michael shoots the police captain in the face. Felt kinda dark."
To put it in simple terms: S-Class, nice; S-Class with AMG engine, nicer.
Accelerating Lies
But there's still some controversy as to the size of this big engine, designed and built at Mercedes AMG. The car's window sticker as well as its fender badges read 6.3 liters. It's supposed to make you think of the famous Mercedes V8 of the 1960s.
Yeah, and Al Gore rides private jets for the greater good of the environment.
The car's 518-hp, double-overhead-cam, all-aluminum V8 actually displaces 6,208cc. That's 6.2 liters by anybody's measure except Mercedes. But then again, Mercedes also says the S63 AMG accelerates from zero to 60 mph in 4.5 seconds.
Another fib.
At our test track, this big, black behemoth sprinted from zero to 60 mph in 5.2 seconds. If you're disappointed, you've never experienced zero to 60 mph in 5.2 seconds. This car is fast. Blisteringly so. And it's nearly a full second quicker than your Uncle Leo's S550.
Just don't pick any fights with the supercharged BMW B7 Alpina, which hits 60 mph in 5 seconds flat, or the twin-turbocharged S65 AMG V12, which rules the class with a 4.4-second performance.
Those cars also outrun the S63 through the quarter-mile, but we wouldn't sweat it. Unless you're planning to visit the Beverly Hills Drag Strip and Plastic Surgery Center, the S63's 13.4-second run at 107.8 mph is more than quick enough to take care of most of your needs.
As the World Turns
Right now you're wondering if you can score a discount on your girlfriend's liposuction if you spend your weekend racing the S63 AMG in Trophy Stock.
First of all, there's no way anyone who can afford a $135,000 S63 AMG has a girlfriend who actually needs liposuction. Just doesn't happen. So stop being ridiculous.
On our skid pad the S63 generated 0.85g of grip, and it snaked through our slalom at 63.1 mph. That's awesome agility for a car of this size, but it's still behind the 0.90g and 66.3-mph performance of the heavier S65. And it's much slower than the 68.6-mph slalom run posted by the BMW B7 Alpina.
Yeah, we were surprised, too. The S65 uses the same active body control system, the same air suspension, and the same wheels and tires as the S63, but it obviously changes direction better.
In the real world amongst the common folk and the minivans, the S63's abilities are staggering. Tossing it around is to defy the laws of physics. Nothing this big and heavy should have this kind of athleticism or supply this level of entertainment. It does not leave you wanting more.
It also matches the S65 feature for feature. Ever smoke a kid in a 350Z while simultaneously utilizing your active ventilated seat, night-vision display and hands-free communication system with voice control? It's fun.
Fast and Thirsty
But it's not for the weak of wallet. Or conscience.
We averaged 13 mpg during our two weeks with the S63, which is rated at 11 city and 17 highway by the EPA. But don't feel too bad; you already paid your $3,000 gas-guzzler tax, so guzzle. Not to mention, you just bought your wife a Cadillac Escalade Hybrid. Life's too short for guilt.
And the S63 is pure hedonism. From its IWC clock to its buttery suede headliner, to its glossy hand-polished walnut burl trim, to its 20-inch alloy wheels, this car is about reward. Self reward. It's a treat. And it's a perfect example of getting what you pay for.
Just look at its monster front brakes. Each measures 15.4 inches in diameter and is over an inch thick. They're cross-drilled for cooling and wear massive calipers that are finished smooth, wear the AMG logo and cover more than a third of the rotor's surface area. Somebody get the Guggenheim on the phone. These brakes are mechanical works of art that haul the S63 down from 60 mph in a scant 118 feet.
Go is always more fun than stop, and the S63 goes. With a peak torque rating of 465 pound-feet at 5,200 rpm, the big V8 offers plenty of push from idle all the way up to its 7,000-rpm redline. It's one of the finest normally aspirated engines in history and it delivers its thrust with a melodic muscle-car rumble worthy of a Beach Boys song. It's also the perfect match for the seven-speed automatic, which Mercedes lets you control with aluminum shift paddles.
The Three Bears
And so you've decided you want an S-Class, have ya?
This is where you expect us to play Goldilocks. You know, the S550 is toooooooo soft. And the S65 AMG is tooooooooo hard. But the 2008 Mercedes-Benz S63 AMG is just right.
Not this time. Don't be a fool; buy the best. And the Mercedes-Benz S65 is the best. Its 604-hp twin-turbo V12 makes it the quickest four-door sedan we've ever tested. It lights its tires up through two full gears and it outhandles the S63. Bottom line: If you can swing the S65 without making the kids go to public school, by all means, lay it down, Big Daddy. It's the one you want.
To put it in the simplest terms: S-Class, nice; S-Class AMG with biggest engine, nicest.
Follow-Up Test: 2008 Mercedes-Benz S63 AMG
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