Dear E60.
You gave us an epic M5, a very cool M5 Touring, the lovely 535d and you continued the legacy of what BMW should be: A proper driver's car.
For that I should say: Thank you very much.
But I'm afraid it's not the end of the story.
First off, you only scored four stars in the EuroNCAP crash tests, which is not bad. But we were expecting you to score higher than exactly the same score as your predecessor.
Then you went on to only score a marginal rating in the side impact crash-test by the American IIHS.
Your run flat tires absolutely ruined the ride, your iDrive was complicated to operate, your active steering didn't worth the extra money and there was the solid inescapable fact that the E39 was so much nicer looking than you.
No, I'm not saying you were exactly a minger, however, the E39 was an instant love at first sight and it looked good from every angle. You in otherhand.... Well it took me a while to finally warm your looks and even so you still didn't look good from any angle. Surprisingly, you looked better with a kennel in the back:
Having said all that, you were the most successful 5-Series in BMW's history, despite all odds against you. Along with the epic M5, you gave us the equally epic and surprisingly tasteful Alpina B5:
The bonkers and not very tasteful G-Power M5 hurricane:
And the bonkers and not tasteful at all Lumma Design CLR 730 RS:
Despite some foibles, you still were a very good car; you certainly will be missed.
Goodbye mate.
You gave us an epic M5, a very cool M5 Touring, the lovely 535d and you continued the legacy of what BMW should be: A proper driver's car.
For that I should say: Thank you very much.
But I'm afraid it's not the end of the story.
First off, you only scored four stars in the EuroNCAP crash tests, which is not bad. But we were expecting you to score higher than exactly the same score as your predecessor.
Then you went on to only score a marginal rating in the side impact crash-test by the American IIHS.
Your run flat tires absolutely ruined the ride, your iDrive was complicated to operate, your active steering didn't worth the extra money and there was the solid inescapable fact that the E39 was so much nicer looking than you.
No, I'm not saying you were exactly a minger, however, the E39 was an instant love at first sight and it looked good from every angle. You in otherhand.... Well it took me a while to finally warm your looks and even so you still didn't look good from any angle. Surprisingly, you looked better with a kennel in the back:
Having said all that, you were the most successful 5-Series in BMW's history, despite all odds against you. Along with the epic M5, you gave us the equally epic and surprisingly tasteful Alpina B5:
The bonkers and not very tasteful G-Power M5 hurricane:
And the bonkers and not tasteful at all Lumma Design CLR 730 RS:
Despite some foibles, you still were a very good car; you certainly will be missed.
Goodbye mate.
Did you wrote that Kowalsky? 
