DaSilva
Autotechnik Ace
If you've ever snoozed at 35,000ft before finding God in the back of an airport taxi, you'll understand that speed is relative. No 0-60mph here, nor 0-100-0mph, but just the cars that remind us, in the terrifying thick of it, that we are utterly alive.
Atom Supercharged:
Scaffolding pole meets blown Honda VTEC. The shortest route to track-day terror is via Ariel's superbly tidy and simple design.
BMW M3 CSL:
Super-scarce and brutally focused, the CSL remains a triumph of low-volume nutterdom. If only the new M3 looked this good.
Lamborghini Countach: The shape that sexualised motoring for a generation of hormonal adolescents
Peeling off bedroom walls alongside equally tatty and tacky posters of scantily clad Eighties' starlets, the Countach has looked down upon, and perhaps in a few cases even played a bit part in, the onanistic entry to adulthood of a decade's worth of randy teens. But we're only really interested in when it all began: 1974 to be exact, when the same team responsible for the Miura produced the first all-aluminium-bodied, 4.0-litre
Mercedes CL63 AMG: A clipped Lear Jet of sorts. Thirstier though
There are different kinds of fast and we're picking over them all here. There's breathless supercar acceleration, there's Evo-style, cross-country pace. But the environment that Merc has always owned, and nowhere more convincingly than with the CL63 AMG, is unending, unfaltering speed.
With a 525bhp V8 upfront on an S-Class chassis, this is the only coupe to cross continents in. In a hushed whisper you sit at obscene speeds as mile after mile of derestricted autobahn disappears beneath you. And you emerge as fresh as the moment when you turned the key.
Audi
-Another Audi. They do Q-cars like no other, jamming a V8 into a small saloon.
BMW M5 Touring
Remove the limiter and you have an estate car capable of 200mph. Now put it back on.
BMW M3 E30: The original M3 defined the genre - thank God it was good
The first BMW M3 was built as a homologation special. As such, it ranks as one of BMW's best-ever translations of racing technology to the road - buy an E30 and you're getting the basis of the car that F1 journeyman Eric van de Poele won the DTM with in 1987. This is what makes the E30 so extraordinary - not that it handled so sweetly, with a poise and delicacy that few could match.
Nor that the four-year production run sold out in one year. Nor that it made up to 220bhp from its compact 2.3-litre engine. No, what sets the E30 apart is that it laid the precedent, the benchmark, for every 'M' car since. The chief reason the next M3 needs to be quite so good as it has to, is this.
Lancia Delta Integrale Evo: Five times world rally champion - not slow then
It's the export figures of the Lancia Delta Integrale that speak volumes. Nearly half of the 10,000 built were shipped abroad - despite Lancia's iffy reputation outside Italy. And the later Evo versions were the fastest of the lot.
215bhp and 231lb ft aren't to be sniffed at, even today, but back in the early Nineties that was enough to send the 'Grale chasing supercars. Add to that, massive grip and sublime steering, and you've got one of the fastest A-to-B cars ever.
Audi R8: A conservative supercar? Time will tell
So new is the R8 that barely anyone round here's actually driven it. It is fast, we know that much, but it's also controversially styled and the first foray by a less than exotic marque into some seriously uncharted high-end waters.
The reality is though, Audi really knows how to go quick these days, and there's precious little wrong with its packaging either. This or a V8 Vantage? Depends if you're a gambling man. One thing's for certain, you'll see a lot more of these around, in part because they won't be always getting mended.
KTM X-Bow
For those who know nothing about motorbikes, KTM is an Austrian manufacturer famed for its dirt bikes. Racing is at the very heart of the brand - KTM won the Dakar rally this year, its seventh victory in a row - and it has managed to win more than 100 world titles in motocross.
And KTM has put all of its go-faster know-how into this: the X-Bow.
Lightweight carbon-fibre monocoque, racing suspension with double triangular wishbone axles, two-litre turbocharged Audi engine: the X-Bow ticks all the right boxes to be an Ariel Atom beater.
But more importantly, just look at it. Floating orange body panels, blades at the rear: utterly, utterly stunning. If that doesn't get you respect from the biking world, what will?
Audi Sport quattro
You don't get much more justification for being in this list than ranking as a landmark. Hello, Audi Quattro. This car defined an entire section of motorsport in world rallying. All those Evos and Imprezas would be nothing without it. And let's not forget the seriously daft Sport quattro - rarer, wider, a whole foot shorter and packing up to 444bhp from its turbo five. Unique.
Lamborghini Murcielago LP640: The last of the truly phat Lambos?
So much faster, more sorted and more evil-looking than the previous Murciélago, that it almost deserves a new name. But LP640 will do, and it will be remembered as one of the truly great Lamborghinis. The 640 refers to PS, or 633bhp in our language, and that's plenty of urge. Audi will develop the Murc's replacement, and we sincerely hope it shares this car's lunatic bravado.
Porsche Carrera GT: Porsche aimed at the Enzo and hit it dead on
A TG staffer once saw a GT accelerate away at the Nürburgring, while giving chase in a Subaru Impreza STi. "Get it out of fourth gear!", yelled his companion, before realising the car was in second.
It's that kind of car, the Carrera GT - fast enough to redefine your concept of fast. The 5.7-litre V10 engine was originally developed as an F1 powerplant, and it sounds it - emitting a piercing, high-pitched shriek unlike any other road car. It's exactly as capable and planted and ultimately superior as you'd expect if Porsche put its mind to a 558bhp, £320,000, 205mph Enzo rival.
Mercedes McLaren SLR 722
Fast in a straight line, but lacking in other areas, like ride and brake feel. Still, we like fast in a straight line. Especially when the speedo reads 209mph.
The new BMW M3's V8 engine
Everything about this new M engine is built for razor-sharp response times, and all optimised for lightness and a crazed, hectic, high-rev mania. For squeezing out every last drop of power, it revs to a massive 8,300rpm.
But an engine isn't just about the measurables - power, response, weight, durability, economy and the rest. It's about the way it grabs the other sense, and the intellect too.
Which must mean that the sound of this V8 searing towards its redline, change-up lights going off like fireworks, is likely to be one of the all-consuming experiences of 2007.
Brabus Rocket
In third, at 80mph, in the dry, the Brabus Rocket will leave two black lines as far down the road as your confidence will allow your right foot to get away with.
This is a CLS that pumps out 730bhp from a heavily-revised 6.3-litre version of Merc's biturbo V12, this time sporting Brabus's orwn design of larger-diameter turbochargers.
Torque is limited to 811lb ft because wheelspin gets to be a unique and bum-puckering issue at 90mph in third gear if things are left at the engine's natural 958lb ft output.
Even so, by 4,000rpm, your rear wheels are smoking like a Beagle in a science lab. At Brabus, this is normal.
Hamann M6
At last, the ludicrous has landed. OK, Hamann's M6 has only (ha, 'only') got 560bhp thanks to a new exhaust and massaged ECU, but this thing is a proper dose of tuning lunacy.
It sounds right, gets plenty of attention and is certainy as fast as the original, though there's something deeply unsettling about doing this to a car as resolved as an M6.
The Alpina B6
The Alpina B6 still bears the BMW roundel. It also doesn't stray too far from the look of the original - just wheels, a rear spoiler and a bib on the front bearing the Alpina name - despite being capable of very nearly 200mph.
This isn't an M6 with 20-inch rims and a sports exhaust. This is a 500bhp engine achieved using a turbocharged version of a 4.4-litre V8 which produces completely different driving characteristics to the M6's V10.
Forced induction boosts its power from low down, making it blisteringly quick but completely unlike an M6. You don't have to rev hard to purge power to the rear wheels: it's obviously special, but it simply doesn't feel tuned.
Complete List:
Lotus 2-Eleven
Atom Supercharged
Caterham R500
Megane F1
BMW M3 CSL
LCC Rocket
Radical SR8
McLaren F1 LM
Westfield XI
VW Golf MkII
Maserati MC12 Corsa
Aston MartinV8 Vantage Roadster
Opel GT
Honda NSX-R
Lamborghini Countach: The shape that sexualised motoring for a generation of hormonal adolescents
Mitsubishi Evo VI Makinen
Mercedes CL63 AMG
AC Cobra MkII 289
Toyota Supra Turbo
BMW M6: History the Germans can actually be proud of
Aston Martin V8 Vantage
Jaguar XK140
Lotus Exige S
Renault GTA
Audi S8: An all-but-unknown quantity until it quickly achieved cult status in Ronin's epic car chase
Audi RS4
Maybach 62S
Lotus Carlton
Lancia Thema 8.32
BMW M5 Touring
Subaru Forester XT
Chevy Impala FBI
Volvo 850R
VW Passat W8
BMW M3 E30
Lancia Delta Integrale Evo
Corvette Z06
Honda Civic Type R
Honda Integra Type-R
Daihatsu Cuore Avanzato TR-XX R4
Audi R8
Ford Escort Mexico
Dodge Charger
Renault 5 Turbo: The first ever mid-engined hot hatch, and brutally fast too
Lamborghini Gallardo Superleggera: ridiculously expensive, fearsomely loud and way more orange than any car ever needs to be
Porsche 911 GT3
Aston N24
Porsche 964 RS
Porsche Cayman S
Porsche 356 Carrera
Porsche 924 Carrera GT
Porsche 928 GTS
Porsche 911 2.7 RS
Porsche 968 Club Sport
Porsche 959
Porsche 914/6
Porsche 911 GT1: 0-60 in 3.5 seconds? Yeah, that'll do
Ferrari 599 GTB Fiorano: Accessible but brilliant supercar
Ferrari Dino 246GT
Ferrari 288 GTO
Ferrari Daytona
Ferrari F50
Ferrari F430
Ferrari FXX: Schumacher requested one for a retirement present. Enough said
Ferrari 250 LM
Ferrari Challenge Stradale: Lighter, faster, much stripier
Ferrari P4/5:The one and only - and even if you've got £2.5 million to blow, you can't have it. There can be only one,
Peugeot 207 GTi
Vauxhall Corsa VXR
Mini Cooper S
Renault Clio 197
Fiat 500 Abarth
KTM X-Bow
Bentley Continental GT
Nissan Skyline GT-R R32
Renault Clio Williams
Fiat 695 Abarth
Jaguar XKR
Audi Sport quattro
Lamborghini Murcielago LP640
Ferrari F40: Old Man Enzo's last hurrah
Ford GT: Ford's centenary celebration - 98 years to wait for the next one then
Bugatti EB110: Ugly as a monkey's rear end, but who cares?
Porsche Carrera GT
Pagani Zonda F: The newest brand in supercars has become one of the most successful, thanks to blinding all-round ability. A 214mph top speed is just a bonus.
Ferrari Enzo: Ugly as a squinting goat, but a hell of a lot faster. A heady 225mph puts this V12 in the übercar category, and it steers and stops as well as anything on four wheels.
Mercedes McLaren SLR 722
Nissan R390 GT1: Never sold but still freezingly cool
Bugatti Veyron: The fastest car ever - 253mph anyone?
The new BMW M3's V8 engine
Brabus Rocket
Hamann M6
Geiger Mustang
The Alpina B6
TechArt Turbo Cayman
Lotus Elise S
Ford Falcon XB GT: An ordinary family car with an extraordinary secret life
Peugeot 205 GTi
The 100 fastest car
McLaren F1: The Oxford English Dictionary's definition of fast? It has to be Gordon Murray's McLaren F1.
In the driver's footwell of the McLaren F1 there's a carefully shaped bit of trim that covers the throttle cable as it travels back to the engine. Beautifully sculpted, rigorously neat and made from carbon fibre. This tells you a lot about the car. Designed without thought for cost, pared down, blessed with an attention to detail that makes heart surgeons look sloppy.
We like engineering at Top Gear and this car is enough to give any engineering fan strange stirrings in the underpants. Sad then that the F1 is not famous for being a pure manifestation of one moustachioed man's quest to make the ultimate car. Instead, everyone seems fixated with its 241mph top speed and the band of pretenders - Bugatti, Koenigsegg, some bloke in America who's fitted six superchargers to a V8 kit car - who have tried to usurp that headline figure with varying degrees of success.
But let's not forget that the McLaren was never about one meaningless number. In fact, although the factory had done some complex maths about projected top whack, the F1 didn't actually prove what it could do in real life until five years after it went on sale. Because the McLaren F1 was never about travelling at high speed in a straight line. It was about detailing, lightness and lack of compromise. And that's why it's still the hypercar daddy.
Hire car: There was no other contender and you know it
'You have to get a car that handles really well. This is extremely important, and there's a lot of debate on this subject - about what kind of car handles best. Some say a front-engined car; some say a rear-engined car. I say a rented car.'
P.J. O'Rourke, Republican Party Reptile.
Yes, the fastest car in the world is, as O'Rourke would have, one that belongs to someone else. Specifically, the faceless corporations that live in lurid-coloured branch offices on airport concourses and slightly inconvenient out-of-town locations across the world.
Hiring a car is an exciting business from the off. What are they going to give you this time? Because although hire companies deal in categories of car, everyone knows the vehicle they actually give you is determined by someone in the back office spinning a massive wheel of chance.
What'll it be this time? Punto? Focus? 3-Series? Maybach 62? Lockheed F-117A stealth fighter? Or maybe you got off the plane late, and all they have left is an Albanian-spec Kia Sedona with no aircon and an engine that runs on leaves.
The great rental car lottery is one of life's strangest thrills. But it's when you've got the keys that the real fun starts.
Jump in, gag slightly at the chemical synthesis of stale fruit that they've used to mask the fact that the previous renter left a dead monkey in the boot, and then go, go, GO!
Ragging the engine until it bangs off the limiter, late-braking in a way Schuey would have described as 'brave', finding out what changing gear without the clutch feels like - all of these loutish pleasures are yours in hire-car land. Cornering so hard the tyres peel off the rims is good too, and if it gets a bit hairy, well, you've got the full CDW to protect you. It does cover the side panels, the roof and some of my limbs, right?
You can do anything you want in a hire car as long as you always remember one crucial thing - it's not yours.
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